How to Embrace Yourself and Captured Moments in Photos - Guest Blog
We as photographers preach family photos and moms’ portraits are meaningful to your kids and family, and I believe many clients are on board for that. But…..are they meaningful to YOU, as a mom, actually as a woman? Do you enjoy seeing yourself in photos?
I can tell you that it has happened to me many times looking at photos - “No I don’t look like this! I look better than this! What are these wrinkles? ” instead of accepting myself.
It’s a complex topic and I can say 100% of us suffer from this every day….right?
So I thought this will be a great topic for my blog and I turned to a pro, Tory Stroker. Tory is an anti-diet Registered Dietitian, Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and weight inclusive provider local to Ridgewood, NJ. She helps women in all body sizes to reject diet culture, find food freedom, nourish their body to feel their best and find peace with their body. She has supported hundreds of women in their journey towards food freedom, body liberation and overall body trust through her one-on-one counseling services in her private practice, Tory Stroker Nutrition. Make sure to check out her website!
Here’s from Tory:
Tory Stroker
Anti-diet Registered Dietitian, Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and weight inclusive provider
Hi there!
After speaking with so many of my clients, one hot topic that often will come up is body image + photographs. Whether it be fear of seeing oneself photographed in an upcoming wedding, or seeing a photo that sends them in a self-criticism spiral, or not ever getting into photographs because of body shame, this scenario plagues so many of my clients - and maybe you too.
Let’s play out this scenario together…you’ve just taken photographs with a great photographer in your home, or outside in a beautiful setting - you feel great about what you think was captured - a few weeks later, you get the link to access the photographs, and you see the first photograph and….
WHAM!
You begin the self-critic spiral of hating on every single part of your body, your appearance, your everything! As you keep scrolling through the photos, the critic gets louder and louder in your head. Been there? I know I have…
These beautiful moments were captured, and all of a sudden they don’t matter at all. All you can see are the flaws, and by now the excitement is all gone, and you decide not to share any of the photos that you were super excited for your family to have. No one can see them and you will never look at them again…
What if you took a different approach? Here are a few steps you can take towards not starting the hate spiral when you look at photos of yourself:
1. Notice your self talk
How are you talking to yourself about your body when you look at these photographs? Is it critical and harsh? Or gentle and loving? If it isn’t so nice, would you ever talk about your best friend this way? If not, why are you talking about yourself this way? The first step to changing the script within our head is to have self awareness, then compassion. A helpful reframe can be, “talk to yourself like you would your best friend,” that typically is much more compassionate and kind.
2. Remember the intention of why the photo was captured in the first place - to capture a memory, not to photograph your body parts and hate it.
Was the photograph taken for you to trash talk your stomach? Or was it to capture a special moment in time with your son who just started to walk and is enjoying his first steps in the sand? Redirecting your thoughts in this way can be very helpful around photographs.
3. Find something great captured in the photo!
Whether it be how happy you look, the composition of the photo, the sunset, how great your house looks, your child’s expression, the love you see in your partner’s eyes…something!
4. Take 10 seconds to look at each photograph, then move on.
The longer we gaze at photos, the more likely we are to find areas to harp on. If you find your critical eye to be really loud, I recommend my clients take 5-10 seconds, then move on to the next photo.
5. Do not look at the photographs when you’re in a bad body image moment. You’re only setting yourself up for a self-critical spiral. Instead, choose a time when you’re in a good headspace to look through the photos. It’s amazing how different the experience can be.
6. Lastly, even if you’re not “loving” your body right now, please get in the photographs!
Your children and your family deserve to have your photos, period! Have you thought that way? Years from now when your grown children or their kids are looking through photographs and they can’t find any photos of you, what will they think? They would see your energy and appreciate who you are and will pass through so-called ‘imperfections’ you are conscious of. You are their only prescious mom, grandma, sister, etc! No need to compare yourself to others.
READY TO GET IN PHOTOS? GREAT!
LET ME GUIDE YOU THROUGH YOUR SESSION SO YOU CAN LOOK YOUR BEST. CONTACT ME HERE FOR YOUR FAMILY OR YOUR OWN
SPECIAL PORTRAIT SESSION!
Looking for more support about your body and mind?
Tory Stroker Nutrition offers one-on-one counseling sessions for women in all body sizes ready to ditch diets and heal their relationship with food and their body. If you’re interested, schedule your free 15 minute consultation today.